You worry me sometimes. I just want you to be okay, and realize how great you really are. I wish we could've had this kind of communication before.
I thought you were really the full deal, and I would never have to worry about finding anyone else. But now that I've had the time to think about it, I'm okay with the way things are. You're my best friend, and if there ever comes a time where we end up back to the way we were,
then that's great. But if not, I don't care, as long as you're in my life.
That was my public-but-should-be-private spat.
On another note, I'm really surprised in myself right now. Yipee!
This is so stupid.
There is so much I have to say and so much I want to know...but even when I'm drunk, I don't say anything.
Fuck my life.
I told you not to be stupid. Either you're as good of an actor as I recently decided you are, or you just didn't notice.
Either way, I'm a little glad you didn't. It needs to wait.
So tonight, I was planning on going out, but I think I might just stay in. My family has disappeared, so I'm thinking I'll throw on some pj's and watch a Disney movie until they get home, and then play cards with my dad or something.
Having time to relax just seems like a better idea today.
Right now, I need my best friend. More than anyone else in the world.
Where are you? If you're reading this, give me a call or something. Please?
(And don't be stupid. You know who you are.)
I was sitting on my doorstep,
I hung up the phone and it fell out of my hand,
But I knew I had to do it,
And he wouldn't understand,
So hard to see myself without him,
I felt a piece of my heart break,
But when you're standing at a crossroad,
There's a choice you gotta make.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
I know there's a blue horizon,
Somewhere up ahead, just waiting for me,
Getting there means leaving things behind,
Sometimes life's so bitter sweet.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye.
Time, time heals,
The wounds that you feel,
Somehow, right now.
I guess it's gonna have to hurt,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
I guess it's gonna break me down,
Like falling when you try to fly,
It's sad, but sometimes moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
I guess I'm gonna have to cry,
And let go of some things I've loved,
To get to the other side,
Starts with goodbye,
The only way you try to find,
It's sad but, Moving on with the rest of your life,
Starts with goodbye,
Na na na na na na na.
I don't know how I'm supposed to feel.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do, or say.
I don't know why it happened.
It just did. And frankly, I'm not a fan. But I guess I don't really have a choice.
I just wish I didn't feel so useless.
Next weekend, I expect all of you to be in the Bridge to enjoy an exciting weekend of drink-offs, and beer pong tournaments.
DO IT. =)
I like not living in this city anymore. I won't lie. It's nice to come home and visit, see everyone I've missed and spend time with those I haven't seen in a really long time. But it's the nicest feeling to not feel obliged to see people, or spend a lot of time with them. I mean that in the nicest way. It also makes me see things I never noticed before about people, or have a sentiment be re-sparked after having the chance to forget about it for so long. Some people are already just so still stuck in the way they were in high school, and maybe they'll be that way forever. Others have already drastically grown up. It's quite a sight to see, actually.
Basically though, I miss everyone. I'm glad I got to see a fair amount of people over the last couple days, and for those who I haven't seen at all since I've been away: I better fucking see you soon.
I don't know why I'm like this, but I fucking hate it.
